Job

I quit it, i guess people don't care that my grandmother with invasive fucking cancer is visiting. im kinda pissed off but i dont care. at least i get to see brittany AND my grandma today. SWEET!

confused/hurt/pissed off

im confused because i dont get why brittany would consider breaking up with me not once but twice and still be with me, i take that as kind of meaning she isnt happy with me, which leads to why im hurt, why didnt she tell me this before? am i really that shitty of a boyfriend? lastly im pissed off at my internet for sucking monkey balls


the end

Honestly... i don't know what to do

i really don't, the blog that Brittany posted on myspace really hit me hard. she said she is alone a lot, and even when she is not alone she feels like it. is she talking about me? if so, then i honestly don't know what to do. she might not be talking about me but i have a gut feeling that she is. maybe things are not going as good with me and her as i thought. i really do not want to be the source of her depression. i don't want her to feel bad because she is tired and is about to fall sleep when we hang out, i don't want her to feel bad for wanting to hang out with just her friends, i don't want her to feel bad because of some of the really stupid things i say. im sick of making her feel bad. i love her so much, she doesn't even know how much she means to me. i have been paranoid for the past like 2 months that she would just lose interest in me and break up with me. that would ruin me. i don't know what i would do without her. even if i don't see her that much anymore, just knowing im hers is a very wonderful feeling. i don't tell her i love her just to say it, i mean it 100%, she is the first girl i can honestly say im head over heels in love with her. i just want to sit sown with her and talk, we never do that. i would really like it. well...until next time



Peace